Why do you write?

I wonder how many people start writing a book like a fiction novel or a childrens book and wonder why the hell they are doing it.  Is it a passion?  A desire to get noticed or what?  I see people with these flashy author websites promoting their books and think…yea..someone is trying to be “discovered”.   Then I started thinking about why did I start writing and realizeImageImage it was just to help with some fucked up cognitive skills that I suffered when diagnosed.  I mean I actually thought Ronald Regan was in the White House and that I was in California when in fact I was in North Carolina.  The docs were thinking wheel chair or major brain damage,  I like to think of my thinking and rational skills as being someone who is suffering from autism.  Like my brain sometimes start wacking out on me and then I panic and dont know whats going on and then I start cleaning the house or doing something that makes no sense… Then I started researching Aids and especially Aids dissadents.  People who believe the virus doesnt exist or that you can actually heal yourself and that meds with kill you quicker..  Then I read about or watched a video of this lady who was HIV pos and she was a dissadent and traveled the country telling everyone “Dont take HIV meds cause they will kill you.”  She looked fine and I honestly thought she may be on to something,  Then 2 years later she died from an Aids related illness and I was like WTF!!???  I ain’t believing these wack jobs.  And thats when I just started exercising and taking my meds religiously.  I know they are saving me….no question.  Ive gone off them for a month and watched as the labs came back with a higher viral and lower cd4 count.  My doc saying “Are you taking your meds?”  So yea…its up to me whether I want to live or die.  Then I guess once I stabilized is when I started writing.  So back to the question of why do people write?  I think its personal expression, maybe just a way of saying “Hey!  Im here….who knows.  All I know is for me personally its because it helps me to feel Im still worth something..


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