What to do when Im not writing?


I noticed that there are different  types of people who see their writing as something more than just a way of expressing themselves.   I tend to use it to just basically get my thoughts down.  I never really looked at or look at it is much more.  Its kind of like my wall.  Sometimes I feel like Im the guy in a prison scratching out names and numbers on the wall of my cell.  I think if I was in prison I would write poetry on my walls then convince a guard to get me a guitar and I would make songs of my writing.  Then I would just sing the poems.  Silly Dave.Maybe its because I got sick that I think that way or maybe I was always a bit strange as my partner in crime tells me.   She says I was always weird, thats why she fell for me.  Like there was something she couldnt quite pinpoint that was appealing.  I dont know but as I progress through life I start to see the light through the darkness.  Not the light that people see when they pay off a car note or finally get their finances straight.  Just a light that seems to make everything fall into place.  Like everything is alligned and I am where I sposed to be.  Im not sure maybe that makes sense maybe not.  Yesterday while driving out to Raeigh NC I felt myself being pushed by other drivers to go faster and faster.  60 then 70 and then 80.  Whoahhh I thought, put the fucken brakes on people, this is too fast.  This aint right.  Then I remembered when I was working in California I was the one pushing the limit.  Had to get to the job early, solidify that name for myself which we all do.  Working makes people live, it makes them feel worthwhile  I know..Ive been there. But what happens is you no longer want all that even if its there for the taking?  I dont know maybe you become like me, comfortably numb writing on the wall.   Either way, I know this is a crazy ride….this life.    On a more positive and uplifting note, my interview on the Authors Show has gone through editing and is close to being broadcast.  Wow, thats crazy cool.   Or is it?  Maybe people will read the book and think.  Wow, this guy is fucked up.  Or maybe they will say, wow, that guy went through some shit.  Or maybe they will say, yea whatever.  Either way it;s all good with me.  Im still content watching the leaves fall from the trees while mind mind goes to that special place.   Image

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