So, Ive been reading a book on HIV law of all things. HIV has a tendency to cause a mariad of symptoms that, to the human eye may not be apparent. This is why HIV is considered more of a mental issue when it comes to disability claims. So when living with the HIV illness someone may see you as someone who is healthy when if fact you may have symptoms which are not obvious. This can be frustrating for the individual because a person who lives with a normal immune system could never know what its like to live with HIV. Its only when you actually live with it can you understand the implications. For me I look healthy, In fact for my age I look like I am in good shape. My problems come with focusing and completing tasks. In fact when I was released from the hospital they were thinking major cognitive damage. So, when I wrote the book My Life A Life Story Of A Man Infected it was very difficult for me. But I did it. And then another one The Sunshine Murders. These were difficult but not impossible to write and Im glad I did. It helped me realize all was not lost. So when I started reading about HIV law I see that HIV positives have a 30 times greater suicide rate than the general population. That sucks. And I surpassed that and went to the edge and had Tcells of 102 when I was hospitalized. So we all know what that means. Your close to going toast. But Im a fighter big time and will be until the good lord takes me a way. I still like other things. I love the band KISS and remember nights of pounding beers and other various bottles of some serious hard stuff with my best friend (RIP) back in the late 90s to the early 2000s listening and watching old vintage KISS recordings. I grew up on Van Halen and The Sex Pistols and my tattoos are a reminder of my past everytime I see them, So yea Im still kickin just well slower I guess. Yhe HIV law book tripped me out. There are so many laws and different aspects of defining disability due to Aids or HIV. I think its tough thoughn one side of me is still Dave, that dude that took so many fucken chances and the other is Dave who is caring honest, compassionate and thoughtful. The weird thing is before I became positive I can say I never really thoughtt of myself like that. Now I do. So,the HIV law book may define me and my illness one way but for me personally I like to think of myself as just a new me, A more aware and responsible me.