Saturday Blues

So, yesterday was a really sad day for America. I mean this was horrific.  And while I try and stay upbeat about things in life considering my situation living with HIV it really makes me wonder about this country and the people in it.  I remember as a kid we were taught right from wrong and how not to do this or that and when we did something wrong (like play with matches) we would get out mouths washed out with soap.  Same with the (Backtalk) as my parents put it. It may have been a bit brutal and in my autobiography I wrote about some of the things we went through. But I never saw or remember things like this happening.  Especially by people who are so young.  I mean it doesnt make sense, do be so young and filled with such rage, rage enough to kill innocent people and especially children.  It really is disgusting and sad. I dont believe in the whole “Ahh let him rot in hell, that is just another sign of immaturity and fuel for the fire which makes people so isolated from each other.  Life is tough I know, Ive been there and am now to this day.  But I dont quit and go postal on someone.  Speaking of which I was a postal clerk in the Marine corps back in the day. Scary thought. So, yesterday I didnt write alot, a little but not much..I guess I felt sorry for the kids cause I remember as a kid being taught the fire drills and the cops came to the school and did cool demostrations and it was new, scary and exciting at the same time.  When your a kid things give you butterflies, cute girls in class(crushes), getting in trouble and homework that you have or a test…bla bla bla.  so I remember that and Im sure these poor kids felt that too.  Only it was real, real danger and they werent prepared.  Sucks ass big time.  It also reminded me of the Marine Corps boot camp where we had to learn to fight with weapons in hand to hand combat or to fire M-16s and 60 caliber machine guns.  at the time I was like yeah this shit is cool.  The reality is we were being prepared for an actual battle if it came down to that.  Then when I was 20 years old the Beirut bombing occured when I was stationed at Lejeune and 2 of my friends died in that scene.  Sucked ass big time. So now I look back and Im like jeez Ive been through and witenessed alot of stuff.  I dont understand  yesterdays events though.  Its too much for me to comprehend, especially whiledealing with my own issues from cognitive issues from menengitis and HIV.  But I also think that it made me love my son just a little more ( if its possible).  He is like any other 10 year old, he likes to dance,play, learn and do all kinds of stuff. So, I have to stay healthy for him.  Today I did 4 miles on the treadmill, 5 reps of 10 145 pound bench presses and then some curls with dumbells.  Sometimes I feel like an idiot doing all this exercising but then Im sure if I didnt Id probly be dead by now.  I have to remember that even though I feel ok, Im still living with Aids…I mean yea…I am.  So…yea it sucks but I think Im kickin its ass so far…But to blame someone else and go postal…sheesh….not gonna happen.  So, with that said, I feel for those poor kids and their families.  I dont know what I could of done or can do, the world will continue, people will still be selfish, people will kill, rob and be assholes.  So, my prayers go out to all affected.   Dave


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