Book Editing And Acting A Fool

So, I have been working on the Sunshine Murders book alot.  Trying to make it all flow together better.  Like I said I’m not a professional writer but in the past year my writing skills have improved considerably.  I just need some guidance.  I know in a world of hustle and bustle most people are consumed by thoughts of bills and mortgages and who knows what else.  I for the most part am not anymore.  I guess thats what happens when you let stuff go.You know like the stuff.  The stuff we all work for to make our lives worthwhile.  I find that even though Im not physically working Im finding things that are keeping me somewhat engaged.  Like editing,  Editing is like a full time job, it never seems to end.  Ill edit and then Ill see something that should be changed.  Like a sentence needs rewriting or maybe taken out.  Stuff like that.  Ive also found that in a world where everyones trying to make a name for themselves, Ive found that I want to just make it to the next day in one piece with out freaking out or throwing up from my meds or whatever. I have noticed that when you let go and stop caring or trying so hard, things work better.  I remember as a journeyman electrician I was in charge of some apprentices on a big job site.  They were all green and didnt really know what the hell to do but were so eager to jump right in.   Theres a method to the madness I used to say.  All the pipe cutting and reaming of the conduit and piecing together stuff was like a puzzle.  In the end it all came together.  But its hard work and it can beat you down.  Its not like sitting at a computer all day and then hanging out at a watercooler.  It gets hot and you get nasty from the dirt and dust from backhoes and forklifts driving by,  Its tough pouring slurry that covers conduit in trenches and you have to shovel the stuff around the pipes.  Slurry is like concrete.  Or tying pipes together underground so they dont move when you pour the slurry.  That shit is a bitch.  Then also the mishaps that occur, people falling off scafolds or shooting themselves with nailguns etc.   Its a bitch of a job.  So now that Im writing and all eager, Im sure to others Im like an apprentice,  Like no, you dont do it this way, do it like this.  Or edit like this or.  or indent like this, it reads better on Kindle.  Fuck me into tomorrow.  Thats alot to absorb, especially for me. So, I go slow and easy with it all.  Im not running a race here guys.  Yesterday I got some help from this person that lives on the moon I guess.  Mysterious, I know.  But it’s helping little by little. I just dont know how well Im applying the techniques.  It is fine, Ive got all day.  In my old life, things seemed to fall into place …kind of.  Work as an electrician is well…sporadic.  Im sure now its pretty much a dead horse or dried up as they say.  Feast or Famine.  Thats the way it is in everything these days.  Everyone has it worse it seems.  So, to compare myself to anyone would be fruitless.  You wont get anywhere that way.   I talked with this person who (lives on the moon) and she says she sees her book unfold before her like a movie.  I think thats awesome.  Pretty freakin wild.  But then yea I can kinda see that.  Especially since the Sunshine Murders was created out of my wacked out mind.  So, maybe I am a little insane, I cant blame it on the meds or the HIV, as people tell me Dave you were always a little wacked out.  Maybe thats what helped me and hindered me.  I dont know.   Ive lived and lost as we all have. The one good thing about this dreaded disease is ithas given me time to connect with old friends from High School and the military days.   Other than that I dont know.  Its a bear to live with.  its one of those emotional diseases.  It makes you think differently I think.  It can either make you or break you both physically and emotionally.  You have to have support when you deal with HIV.  Its not like, oh fuck that man, lets go to the bar, itll be alright.  It dont work that way.  In fact alcohol will easily kill you when your dealing wth this shit.  When I first went in the hospital I was so jacked up, I had 102 Tcells left and my viral load was at 750,000 Holy shit thats fuckin high…isnt it?  At least thats what I said when I found out.  And then whats a viral load…Haha…Silly guy…..Your fuckin almost dead is what they shoulda told me.  But since Im like a cochroach or I have some guardian angel looking out for me I was given a second chance at life.  So, while the days of sweating my ass off in a trench installing 10 foot sticks of 5″ conduit are gone, a new opportunity arose for me.  An opportunity to live for me and not some general contractor barking orders like hes a fuckin drill instructor.   Maybe thats all it is.  Just another chance and an opportunity for you (whoever you are) to learn about me and what makes me tick.  We are after all, all in the same boat… the end.  Dave


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