Another Meltdown


Today I had an emotional meltdown.   I was trying to do something simple and my brain wouldnt tell my hands to do what I wanted to do.  It is frustrating as hell.  Then I started panicking again and found myself thinking why me!  My son last night tried to make a movie theater out of the house.  So, one tv was on playing Karate Kid and another one played Narnia (think that was the name)  So I watched narnia and I have to admit that was a cool movie.  So, this morning there was popcorn everywhere.   I tried to vacumn but my mind wasnt working correctly.  So, I had to go walk it off.  He charged 7.00 for a soda, 3.50 for popcorn and the tickets were 4.00.  So he made a killing of two of us.  Free refills on soda but still..7 bucks!????  So he made about 28-30 bucks on the movie gig.  Lucky for us we only had to pay in monopoly money.  But, he took it so damn seriously, when I wanted to change from Narnia to the karate Kid he fell on the ground yelling “Your killing me!”  So, needless to say I went to the 7″30 pm showing of Narnia in his bedroom. Karate Kid started at 7:00 pm in the living room.  So, thats about the jist of my life, not too complicated.  So today when vacumning my hands started trembling real bad and I dont know why.  Could be the HIV.  I started looking at some stuff online and I think I may have a condition that is associated with HIV/AIDS.  It is diagnosed when you have problems completing tasks, have anxiety, become confused and forgetful and have slower movement.  I think I may be getting that now.  It sucks.  I did manage to get the laundry changed and put ten bucks of gas in the car and actually pay my car registration but seeing my license renewel is coming up I dont know if Ill be getting it renewed.  Im not sure.  I think I could pass beause its just a machine thing you look in but I really dont know if I want to even renew it again.  I may be done driving on my own accord.  I dont want to get in an accident or anything even though Im a safe driver.  Ive never even had a parking ticket and thats after being licensed for 30 years.  It just may be time to hang it up.   I think in the next few years if my cndition worsens I may be asked if I want to go into respite care or something similar.  Thats gonna be a big desision and I dont really want to go that route.  I think Id rather just say take me now…Im done….the turkey has popped.  I dont know…Its nerve wracking.  On the other front I increased the Kindle price of The Sunshine Murders from 1.99 to 4.99 and what do you know, the book in two days rose from 750,000 to 138,000 on the Kindle Amazon listing.  Go figure.  Im not gouging , I just spent so many hours writing it that I honestly feel its worth the price.  If it sells great, if not …thats fine. Either way the effort is what counts right?  So, thats the latest, hope everyone is doing well!

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One thought on “Another Meltdown

  1. Those are fantastic numbers Dave congrats! The effort ALWAYS counts, and across all contexts. I know your struggle sucks but you manage to see the positive and that’s not always easy. I love the in-home movie theater idea, how fun!

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