Blue Collar Blues

So, my health is good enough to at least write a post today.  Ive come to realize that this town I live in is a town of Blue Collar people.  I have nothing against all that.  In fact I used to be a blue collar worker.  My problem I guess is Im sick of being around it.  The Blue Collar Blues.  I recently watched a tv show on National Geographic and there was some guy on it saying he hated the blue collar workers.   He said he grew up in it himself.  But he went on to become a researcher and writer and bla bla bla..  He said he hated the blue collar sector because they were the ones who were always bitching about rights and low pay and made up the mass majority.  he also said they were too stupid to figure their way out of the blue collar sector.  So, although Im sure it pissed people off in a way he had a point. I never looked at it that way and I wont get into it because Id hate to start a debate.  There are ums for all that stuff.  Im battling my own nightmare.  Yesterday I went and played gold with my son.  We went to the driving range and even though my health is questionable, I managed to struggle through it all.  I even bought a used golf club for 10 bucks which was a really good one. So we knocked around some balls that cost about 9 bucks for a basket.  I aslo found that jeez there is some money out here.  I mean theres tons of golfers on the course.  Me, Im always worried about this or that so I cant really find enough support to do much of anything.  Blue Collar Blues I guess.  Or maybe just the fallout from being a blue collar worker for so long.  Then when I moved to North Carolina I failed to realize that this was just another town like the rest but had its own rhyme and reason.  So, when I got sick I didnt stand a chance to figure it all out.  My loss, stranger in a strange land as they say,  So, now I just try and survive the best I can.  I got a cpap machine from the VA.  I guess my doc said I need one.  So, I went there and did the class and everything and they sent me home with this thing.  I isnt a big one, it just has the nose thing and not the Darth Vader mask.  So, I tried it and it actually worked ok.  Helped a little but your supposed to give it a couple months before you say fuck it.  So, Ill try it.  Im doing some changes to the autobiography, “My Life, A Life Story Of A Man Infected.”  From one of my reviews on Amazon, someone said he though there will be a second book.  No, there wont but Im going to add and put some more stuff in it so thats the deal there.  Ive been working on it little by little.  Ive also realized that yea Im down, like financially I am completely destroyed.  Its one of the benefits of having a chronic illness.  Its completely wiped me out as far as my financial status goes.  Half of my disability goes for my sons education and then Im left with a few peanuts which covers almost nothing.  So, I dont really buy myself anything.  My outfits consist of sweatpants,levis and cheap knockoff shoes and tshirts.  I just dont know what else to do. Living on 12,000 bucks a year is hard.  I remember I used to make 70,000 a year and yea thats why my life is a bitch.   I guess I got whittled away.  I would set up a donation site and try and get help or even go through the social services but I already tried that a few years ago.  Didnt work, no way no how.  I cant get social services because I make too much money.  I thought that was crazy.  So even though I payed taxes and now am gasping for anything I just dont qualify.  What a great scene that is.  So, hopefully soon I wont be bathing with a garden hose.  You just never know.  I tried a donation site but uh…yea that worked real well.   People just dont have the time or money and in all honesty I think most think that kind of stuff is a scam.   So, I just deal.   Then my health rebounds and another mess is set before me.  Im sorry but it is just a no winner right now for me.  So, thats it in a nutshell  right now.  Im stubborn so I believe in going down with the ship. But in all honesty this ship was sunk long ago. 


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