Nasty Weather And Feeling Gross?

Ok, I know the word gross is pretty funny.   I mean, what the hell does it mean?  Gross.  Ewwwww That’s gross! Or Your grossing me out!  Gross is an interesting word no doubt. So, today with the rain and shit and looking out at it, seeing it pouring off the top of the house made me feel gross. Maybe its just living in Durham NC which to me is uh…gross. Its just a place thats cheap but with the cheapness comes the cheap amenities and cheap people.  Ive seen and heard the domestic violence and its gross.  Back in the day I would of beat the shit out of someone who was beating his wife or yelling at her if it impeded on my well being.  Now I just look at think.  Fuckin loser.  Ive seen enough and to be honest I see no value in living where Im at except they hve good doctors.  Other than that it would be a great place if your a crook and good with a slim jim.  Gross all the way around.  Sometimes I think Id be better off homeless but thats gross too.  Or being a commercial electrician I could strip out the walls of all the romex and sell the wire at the scrap yard. Thats fucked up but Im sure it happens around here.  So, I looked at the office of this place.  I walked in to pick up a package and whoahhh!  the place looks so nice!..I men the workout area is all clean and nice and the lights are all bright and welcoming.  Then you go to the apartments and its like…oh….yuck…thats gross.  Seriously.  Talk about some shady stuff.   So, recently Ive been looking at this place as being just gross.  I dont care, its my opinion but I can tell a scam a mile away. Im not living under a rock.  We also have a lot of illegals who hole up and scatter when the cops show up.  Life is good.   As for me Im wingin’ it.  I recently had a chip taken out of my windshield so the  insurance company had to call and ask me a gazzilllion questions.  Protocol I guess. As far as the work front goes, Im not even looking.  Im told not too.   Its not cost effective i guess.  i even told my better half how bout a job pickin up cigarette butts on the property.  Again…not cost effective.  So, I think what is the point?  Whats my purpose.  Write?  Or maybe watch the ceiling fan go round and round.  Or fix a shower curtain or maybe play guitar in the rain.  I just dont know.  So, I usually just opt to write.  It seems sometimes like a copout but then I figure its better than nada.  Its not that I dont want to work, I just wouldnt fare very well or long.  I know myself.  I bought a new football for my son at this crazy place that sells shit real cheap.  I mean this stuff is usually stuff that has a rip or some oddity about it.  But its pretty cool and great for broke bastards like myself who have alot of floor staring time on their hands. So, until my books start to sell I guess Ill just keep writing and editing.  Its all I can see to do at this point.  Maybe my next venture will be figuring out how to make money eating at cheap Chinese Buffets…


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