The DMV!

So this morning Im all panicked worrying about having to take my Drivers License renewal test. I mean Im studying signs last minute like merge in signs and railroad signs, hill signs and slippery when wet signs.( I like that last one  hehe) So I get there and my mind goes blank and then I think to myself damn dude you dealt with four years of electrical theory and and shit plus the Marine Corps and the Navy, cmon get it together ya loser.  So I sit down give them my old license and they have me put my head in that thingy to read signs and stuff. So, I look and it was all signs I already knew off the top of my head!  Hows that for old age!!  Ill be 50 in a week so yea its a mid life crisis deal, I worry about everything,  What I eat, how much I work out, the best way to deal with the dreaded HIV disease and yes my mental health.  I found that writing Love Me Till Tomorrow expresses how I see life.  Like this crazy journey through gas stations, mini marts, shady hotels, shady people and unpredictable and unmanageable situations. So, maybe as Im getting older, wiser and a bit more colorful, Im finding that its not so bad to be me.  I have stress, no doubt about it but when I look at something I wrote now versus something two years ago, I can see a dramatic change for the better.  Not everything in life is perfect.  Im not perfect but for all my flaws and quirks I feel Im becoming more rounded.  The Sunshine Murders is on Book Rix and they emailed me saying they wanted to add the book to the recommended books on the site. So that was cool. Other than that I feel blessed I dont have to take another drivers test for eight more years.  Now I just have to try to live long enough to take another one.

Weight Loss Goals

Ok so, I’m trying to lose weight and even though Ive been working out, the weight isn’t coming off enough.  But I went to the VA docs and saw a nutritionist and she weighed me and Ive lost 4.5 pounds in the last month!  So, that’s a big plus for me and I have lost ten in the last year.  I’m cool with that but I need to lose more/ So I joined a thing at the VA called MOVE   Its designed to help those who need weight loss actually lose the weight.  So its all about diet and exercise.  So, I’m going to try my hardest to lose the weight.  ill be 50 in a week and a half.  Jeez never thought Id get that far.  Its just been a rough last few years. So, while that’s a good thing so is the reviews Ive been getting on Love Me Till Tomorrow on Createspace. It does need some tweaking but its got good foundation and flow as someone said in a review. So, it good that I can see a little light at the end of the tunnel. Writing I found is more of a therapeutic thing for me and for a lot of writers. I think deep down most of us know no matter how much we market, tweak, edit and rewrite, we more than likely will never make alot of money doing it. That’s why they have actual jobs I guess. Your supposed to build your reputation over the years and finally you get that bit promotion and yadayada..But its fun to do and create and connect so its worth it in little ways I guess. I’m looking at this weight loss thing a little more serious now. I want to lose at least 20 more and then Ill be doing better. That will put me in the not-overweight range. so wish me luck!

Authorautomy

Ok so I have my new book on Authorautomy. Heres the kindle link.http://www.amazon.com/Love-Me-Till-Tomorrow-ebook/dp/B00CCVA21C/ Authorautomy seems pretty cool, but you have to publish at least 10,000 words to get seen. I figured since Im such a lame ass I may as well put part of it on there.  Besides I lost my original manuscript so I had to go crazy and try and find where I put it.  On the harddrive?  No….On some paper?  No.  Oh shit where the fuck is it.  Finally after wracking my brain I realized that oh yea, its on a flash drive.  Silly Dave!  So I look and its not all on the flashdrive, only 3/4 of it.  I needed it to do some editing.  Then I  realized I had sent the entire manuscript to a friend of mine in California who thanks god still had it!  So i decided to post it to Authorotomy.  Im not sure what the site is all about but its a cool site with a boatload of books.

  Last night I was reading about HIV dessidents.  These are people who do NOT believe the HIV virus exist.  Many of them live with or HIV/Aids.  Wait, many of lived lived with HIV.  Now they are dying.  Why uh…cause they don;t thake meds and think they can cure themselves by eating raw food and working out (sp) like crazy.  Nah…yer wrong Dumbass!  The HIV virus needs to be treated with meds plain and simple.  These crazy people believe that the meds are toxic and are killing everyone who takes them.  Sure they are fuckin toxic but so is the damn virus!   But to not take them guarantees a life of slow decay.  Ive been pos 18 years now and take my meds daily. Sure they suck  but if I didn’t have them I would die…no fuckin’ doubt.  So, to all you dissedents out there….Wake Up!  

On a lighter not, Love Me Till Tomorrow is a book Im pretty proud of. Not that its a huge novel but that I can see my writing has improved alot.  So, while the hanger outers of Durham NC yell and scream outside about who is buying the next twelve pack, I’m content with writing, editing, learning and connecting.  It just seems to work better.

Book Update “Love Me Till We Tomorrow”

So, today I see my book “Love Me Till we Tomorrow” has made it to 121,000 on the Amazon rank.  This from what I hear doesnt really mean you made alot of sales.  It just means that the book has sold more than than most books on Amazon out of a million something Kindle books.  So, seeing that most books sell nada then it could mean I sold one or two.  Haha.  Not important.  what is important is that I start writing and keeping tabs on my work.  Like stay organized.  Im not very organized at all.  I managed to lose my original manuscript of the book when I replaced it with another document.  So, its gone forever from the hard drive except for the Kindle version and lucky for me most of it is on a flash drive.  Im very scattered I know.  So, im happy with the book so far, it seems like it is really coming along.  “Love Me Till Tomorrow” is the first book and the second is “Love Me Till We Die”  The second book is not finished yet so, it will be a while.  Here is the short link to the book.  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CCVA21C

I see the Boston drama has gotten even more crazy.  I guess they found the guy or killed one of them.  I dont know whats going on anymore.  I think life gets too crazy for people and they flip out.  Thats why I write!  It helps me to stay focused and motivated.  I dont understand how people can completely go over the edge.  Why not just be homeless if your that wacked out?  Why go to extremes?  I mean it would be easier to just bum a buck or fish or whatever for your food and stuff.  Ive been homeless.  It sucked but I made the best of it.  I ate muscles off the jetties and fished and went and cruised around for cans which I would cash in.  I mean jeez, maybe Im old but Ive also learned alot.  So, yea,,,moving on.  Im still writing, editing and plugging along.  It just takes time.  Like anything. 

New Book On Audible

So last year I while I was writing or really while I was just trying to figure out what to write I started writing poems.  Most of them were about different scenarios of life, illness,aging and other issues.  I wrote about 20 poems then had it published into a book.  I didnt really think much of this book, it was somewhat brooding and depressing.  But Joseph O Malley who is a narrator on Audible read the book for narration and it came out pretty cool. he added music to it which really helped the flow of the audiobook.  So I was happy with that.  The link to the paperback is here. http://www.amazon.com/Poems-Life-changes-collection-perspective/dp/1475129904/  While this book was really just me writing about my views on life at the time I don’t necessarily think this reflects how I really think all the time.  It is a somewhat depressing book of poetry.  But, the narration really made me think about it and realize that a book, whether depressing or full of life and laughter has a purpose, to make a person think.  Maybe to allow them to see that their life is not so bad or to allow them to escape their own reality for a minute.  Writing the poetry was my escape from reality.  Living with Aids is the modern world is a bitch.  People will judge and see you as what they see standing before them but probably know nothing about you.  I hate that.  so, either way I thought it was cool just to see that its has become an interesting piece when all put together.  The book Im writing Love Me Till We Die is taking on a whole new life, meaning its really coming together and is full of twists and turns.  I like the story line, and the way its starting to flow together.  But, there will be much editing and rewording and yadayada.  That’s the hard part.  the first draft is the easy part. We will see how it goes.  Ive been trying to see things in a more positive light but it s still hard.  Sometime I feel like I’m waving a white flag around and other times I feel like Im getting better.  I don’t know, life is strange.  I noticed something else on my utube channel.  I posted a video back in August of  of last year.  This video was made when I was struggling a bit more health wise than I am now. Someone had asked me what the symptoms were when I was becoming sick due to Aids.  So, I posted a video response.  The views on it were marginal at first but last month all of a sudden it started getting alot of views, about 100 a day.  So now its becoming that domino effect,  More people watch and then maybe they tell someone and the snowball effect occurs.  Im not ashamed of living with HIV or telling my story.  I think it helps others and myself in the process.  I think that maybe in the end it may save someone from making the same mistakes or let them know what the signs are so if they experience them then they can take the appropriate measures.  Right now its going to hit 5000 views and most of them were in the last month.. so, I dont know whats going on..   I dont monetize the Utube videos and dont plan on it.  I don’t think that is good for my video.  Even the books I wonder if I should even sell them.  The Sunshine Murders is fine, its a fiction book only, it has nothing to do with HIV.  So, I really hoped it would do well.  It hasnt completely flopped though.  It has made sales and reviews.  The book Im writing now is a bit more of an exciting adventure for me.  I really enjoy the writing process.  The book is also easier to write than The Sunshine Murders.  I think Im learning the whole formatting thing as well as how to make the book read better.  Its also pretty suspenseful.  Anything about the end of the world I think would be suspenseful.  So, Im becoming a better writer, little by little.  I didn’t know whether people would like the new book.  so, the preview i put up on amazon gave me an idea of what people are thinking.  I was pleased to see the preview of Love Me Till we Die received a five star review on Createspace.com.  That in itself encouraged me to keep writing.  Sometimes that’s all it takes.  So, if you want to read just a little of it check out.  I absolutely love Createspace! It is such a cool publishing platform.  I can’t say enough about it!  So, here is the link to “Love Me Till We Die”  https://www.createspace.com/pub/community/demo.review.do?id=1122867   It needs editing still but the general story line unfolds pretty much in the first couple of chapters.  So, if you want to check it out, please do and don’t forget to leave a review and be as critical as possible.  This helps me to fix what needs fixing.  So, to everyone who has helped me to see the brighter side of my life, I thank you.  I may not have met you personally but I know you are out there, reading what I have to say!

Wilmington Beach Trip!

So, today I took my son to Wilmington Beach in North Carolina.  We packed up the old trusty Chevy Trackerand made a day of it,  After 200 miles of driving east on the 40 freeway we finally got down there and it was a freakin madhouse! I mean it was a zoo!  So the parking sucked so I had to pay 20 bucks for an all day spot in back of a freakin bar!.How funny is that?  So, I paid the cash and the guy says “Hey come back when your done at the beach and we have a barbeque going on,”  Totally cool.  Theses are people I can relate too, not the stuffy folks of Durham NC  who seem  to have the personality and interest of a can of sardines.  Sorry I call it how I see it. So, the beach is packed but the waves were crankin so we went and did some thrashing around in the water.  Its still too cold to really go in without a wetsuit so I didnt really stay in too long.  We played soccer on the beach, threw the frisbee around and checked out the pier and stuff.  It was well worth the trip to get out of Durham and away from the same people who seem to hate everybody who lives around them  I like to drive and explore and check out new things.  I hate being couped up in a house and staring at the walls wondering wtf Im doing.  Besides the successful trip down to the beach I also got my first review of Love Me Till We Die on Createspace in the previews.  So, its just a couple chapters I put up but it got a five star review!  Whooo Hooo!  I must be heading in the right direction with this book,  I still have a long way to go on the book.  Its not even close to being finished but its really moving along.  Im at Chapter ten right now so, Im about half finished.  Here is the preview link.  https://www.createspace.com/pub/community/demo.review.do?id=1122867   Mind you, it still needs editing and some rewriting but Im happy with the story line and characters, Mark and Desirree.  Ok thats all I got, Im typing in the dark right now, so I apologize for the crappy spelling. 

Thanks To All Who Have Followed Me!

Ok, so I guess I;m a little lame.  I haven’t exressed how thankful I am to all of you who have commented and followed me on my WordPress blog.  I truly appreciate it.  Unbeknown to you this has helped me to stay motivated as I continue to write my Romance/Survival/Suspense book.  Just by reading the positive comments on my blogs I  have realized that I am so much more than my disease.  I am a person who can connect with others, share feelings, express views on life and what it’s all about.  Iv’e learned from YOU that it;s a journey and my road is becoming brighter because of that.  Three years ago I was near the end of my rope literally!  I had enough.  I was sick of it all and sick of trying.  So, once I started writing I learned ow to “Carry on”  The people I have met through here have helped me realize that I Do still have talent.  I don;t have to be an electrician or a  Marine.  Ive done that.  Now I can just be Dave, an aspiring author who is still learning the ropes as I fo along.  So, to all of you who have posted comments, read my blogs and sent me encouraging words I Thank You!  Dave,

Book Update, Gym Update, Health Update

So, today I worked out like a madman again.  I also got my HIV lab results back.  I have some viral activity from what the reports says.. Basically my viral load is sitting at 85 which really isnt high at all.  High is when it gets above like 100,000.  So my doc says its probably just a blip.  He says it happens but that I need to stay on the regiment of my HIV meds meaning dont miss even one day… So, Im working on that.  Im pretty steady with my exercise routine. 3-4 miles a day on the treadmill then 100 220 lb leg presses at intervals of 25.  Then 50 crunches.  And if Im not too burned by then about 20-30 bench presses of about 140.  So, Im not killing myself but Im practically living in the gym until mid day now.  I have some good friends there so it beats hangin out at home.  But Ive also been writing my new book, Love Me Till We Die.  Its coming along well and Im averaging 500- 1000 words a day which isnt bad.  Its got a good story plot so there is room for alot of exploration into different events that occur in the book between the two plane survivors Mark and Desiree.  Im having fun with it I guess. The thing Ive learned about myself through all this writing is it has alowed me to see how some people are so caught up in denial.  Like drinking and all that shit.  I have a story about that but I wont go into it..   Put it this way, I hate drunks.  especially because they have nothing to offer but the spew that comes out of their drunken pie holes.  So sorry if I offend anyone who is a drunk here but well, I think they suck ass.  My best friend turned into an alchy and I am sure hes dead by now..  So, there ya go, alcohol kills and you are not indestructable even if you feel you are.  Ill be 50 in two weeks so its a big milestone for me.  I never thought I would reach it especially after being hospitalized and near death at 43.  So Im thankful  Thankful that although I should of died when my son was 3 from the crypto meningitis, hes now ten years old and Im still here for him..So, thats all I could ask for.  The Sunshine Murder is still lacking sales but it does seem to come in waves, the sales I mean.   Speaking of which, the surf is going to be happening soon.  may have to head to the coast and hit some waves at Cape Hatteras, just like the old days when I was tearing it up like in this pic…Life is weird, I can still remember this day at the beach in NC, with this cool board I bought on the outer banks when I was in the Marines…

Rediculousness, is That A Word?

so I was looking around at the sag that surrounds me.  I was thinking this is all rediculousness.  Is that a word?  I dont know.  All I know is Im in this crazy town called Durham NC and I do not for the life of me understand it.  It just seems so weird.  I see tons of these school buses and Im like sheesh, Im a stranger in a strange land.  Still.  I mean its the same thing here  day after day after day.  So to break up the montony I go to the gym and workout.  I cant handle the screaming young moms yelling at their kids and the cmon cmon lets go!  I guess Im just burned out.  I got tired I guess. Then the Durham VA calls and says they want me to come in for a nutrition class. If I was an asshole Id say I eat what keeps me alive  fuck you.  But, the speal will be eat lots of fruits and nuts and whole wheat grains.  Shakes or smoothies and low card stuff.  Yea yea I know asswipe.  How bout giving me the cash to buy all that shit on your dietary list.  Assburgers!  So, while I do eat healthy and watch my weight and stuff I cant help but wonder why do these fucks even give a shit.  I dont even call to go in anymore.  Well, heres the kicker.  Whenever I present my VA card they swipe it.  Once that gets done, they bill the government who in turn bill the taxpayers.  Its the biggest fuckin racket out there.  I know, Ive seen it.  In fact I was one of the fire alarm techs who installed their fucking fire alarm system. But since I got sick I realized that well, Im no longer employable.  So, its that fucked up rediculousness that I got caught up in.  if you have never been to Durham NC….don;t.  Its a trap and you will regret it.  If you can get out from the strangle hold, run west as far as you can go, even if its just to chill on a beach.  So, yea Im stuck out here because the better half says without the VAs help you would be dead.  So, who or what to believe?  I dont know. 

On a lighter side, Ive been writing blogs for an electrical company out in Colorado and I make aboutfifteen bucks for a 400 word blog.  Not bad since its ongoing I guess. The weather has been nice lately,  The Carolina blue skies as they call it.  If you look closely at the picture, you will see the electrical towers.  These towers from what I hear have been here for ages!  I mean they are old school no doubt.  There are tons of these huge electrical plants everywhere out here.  Kinda trips me out coming from San Diego.  But for me…well theres not a whole lot except to workout and maybe eat better.  Today’s lunch consisted of me eating a bunch of lettuce with oil and vinegar and some croutons.  So while im eating my rabbit food lunch I look at the ingredients and find that the oil and vinegar dressing has like 2 grams of fat and the low calorie stuff llike Blue Cheese or Ranch still has 8 grams of fat.  So, the problem is I was eating salads but putting all kinds of lousy dressing on it which really did little to help loose weight…..but I am losing weight now!  In fact Ive lost 15 pounds in the last two months.  I think its the diet but its also the fact that Ive split up my workout regiment to include crunches.  So I do four sets of crunches (25) each.  Then 100 leg presses with 200 pounds.  Then about 3-4 miles on the treadmill with the incline set at 16.  So thats my workout. Now if it is helping me well…I am sure it is I just dont really know if it is or not.  Considering seven years ago I was nearly dead from my Aids diagnosis and a fucked up pathetic hellatious (sp) bout of meningitis I think Im ok.  Plus on top or that I’ll be 50 in two weeks.  The big 50.  Oh shit.  Some lady who read my book (My Life A Life Story Of A Man Infected) said dave you have been  through alot in your life but look at you, your going to be 50 and your still here after all you have been through.  I looked at her thinking ok thanks.  Then I said…uh..thanks. I mean I know her but not really. Shes nice at times and other tmes huffing and puffing talking about her nine kids.  True story.  So thats it, the Durham VA, the electrical towers, the gym, me turning 50 oh and of course The Sunshine Murders!

 

Oh no, Im going crazy. Book Update And A Fiverr Gig?

So, yea, I got a new update to share.  It seems so strange that when you put your book up for a free promotion on Kindle, a boatload of people want to read it.  But, when you don;t and charge a few pennies nobody  wants to buy it.  Im thinking most people have been reduced to running around with sticks and kickin cans up sidewalks because well, if I look out the window, it seems that what some people here do.  I mean isnt this America?  Granted most doing the stick dealyo are kids but Ive seen some young adults of about twenty something doing the same thing and grumblin fu*( this and Fu*( that.  I mean that is so freakin sad.  Where are the parents?  I dont want to know.  Anyways, so today I took my son to the driving range to hit some balls.  I like hitting the balls just to see how far I can still hit even if I am living with HIV and almost keeled over.  So, I hit the damn thing and hit the 250 yard mark consistently.  Some balls even flew over trees that musta been 80 feet high.  So, Im still strong thank god but when it comes to writing and marketing…well I suck.  I do make sales on The Sunshine Murders but in all honesty not enough for me to consider even thinking about making a living as an author.  So, I wont call myself an author.  I am a published writer.  Thats about it.  I found this thing called soothing sounds by One World,  Its a little thing that looks like a little old school radio.  It plays or makes rather sound slike ocean waves and rain and babbling brooks and stuff.  Its designed to help you relax I guess.  So last night I turn the thing on and went to sleep.  2:00 am I wake up and its still going but it sounds louder, like huge waves crashing and Im thinking for a split second.  Holy shit, Im sleeping on the fuckin beach.    Then I came around and thought oh yea its the wave making thingamigiggy.  So, its goes on all night and the waves are crashing and then by the morning its still on!  I mean it runs off three triple A batteries but its still going.  So, I look and see online it cost 28 bucks and up to 40 something dollars.  Guess how much I got it for? Answer….two bucks at a thrift store.  Sorry Im rambling and have alot to tell.  So, this morning I go to the big trash can and find a couple end tables somebody tossed.  I grabbed them and after the golf hitting excursion we finished them up best we could with some varnish.  I thought they were cool mostly cause they were…uh…free!    So that was a fun project and didnt cost a dime.  Except for the varnish.  My new book is coming along well, the Romance/Survival one.  I get going on it then something else comes up and well…you know.  Im finding that the little things are more appealing to me versus huge projects like this. So, hopefully the week will bring about some more welcome changes.  Ill be doing  some more writing on my book and oh I forgot probably some more Fiverr gigs which I seemed to get swamped with. http://fiverr.com/dobguy1/research-and-write-a-blog-or-article     I know dont laugh but its an extra 300-400 a month and very easy to do.  So, if your book isnt going anywhere or you seem to be in a preverbial rut on what to write, write for Fiverr!  I write blogs and articles and stay pretty busy with them.  Ok, Iv’e said too much, I apologize and forgot what this blog is really supposed to be about!  The Sunshine Murders! http://www.amazon.com/The-Sunshine-Murders-Trilogy-Series/dp/1480153214

http://fiverr.com/users/dobguy1/orders/FO7336424914